How To Survive an Atomic Bomb

The Feel-Good Book of the Fifties

I ran across this book while on vacation and decided to buy it since I did not know how to survive an atomic bomb blast. I think it might be time for Homeland Security to think about re-issuing this book.

First of all, it's important to realize that even a hat affords some protection against an atomic blast, particularly if you have very sensitive skin.

If you feel that an atomic blast is imminent, it might be a good idea to get to the basement.

If you're not in the basement but happen to be looking out the window, this is what you might see.

If you didn't see any of those, maybe it's because you were doing this.

...or this.

Don't plan on taking the car to get milk and bread after a nucular attack.

You'll have to walk. Take a friend, but don't take the fire escape.

When you get back, cozy up in the bomb shelter. In addition to the two exits, it should have at least one entrance. I've heard that Martha Stewart is working on an improved design for this shelter.

A little research on the web suggests that this book was propaganda, released only to give the American people a sense of security in very trying times.

I reject that. The thought that our government would mislead us in life-and-death issues involving weapons of mass destruction (WMD) is simply ludicrous.